Healer Pet Peeves

Over at Blog Azeroth, Matticus was blogstorming, and suggested the topic, “42 Ways to Annoy Your Healer.”  This got me thinking about things that really annoy me in game.  Although I did read the whole post and additions from other BA readers, when I tried to think of my specific experiences, I could really only think of a few things.  These are the things that, when they happen, I grit my teeth and start cursing.

Numero Uno

“I need a heal!!!!”

No $#!& kidding…

You know, I have ONE job. I do my job very well on my own.  I do not need you telling me that you need healing.  I KNOW that already.  Guess what!?!?  There’s likely a good reason your health is low. 

The most likely reason that I can think of is that you did something stupid.  That’s my first reaction.  If you’re not the tank, this is most likely true.  If you are the tank, then it’s also a good possibility. 

Another likely reason that you haven’t been topped off six milliseconds after you didn’t avoid that predictable AOE damage that you weren’t supposed to take in the first place, is because not all of my heals are the equivalent to mana free, no cooldown, Lay on Hands.  My significant healing spells generally have a casting time associated with them and I’m probably in the middle of casting when you blurt out your panicked words.

If you need more reasons, then your health is low is probably due to the fact that, despite your arrogant attitude, you are not the next best thing since sliced bread, and therefore — SURPRISE!!! — you are not my priority.  Yes, there are more important people in the raid than you.  It’s called judgment.  There, I said it.

Overall, I am quite aware that you are about to die.  In fact, I am so aware of this, that I will usually tell you that you’d better start using Bandages if you call out for healing one more time because you surely won’t be getting healing from me.

Number Two

“DPS Aggro”

There is a reason that we require the use of Omen.  It helps you manage your aggro. 

For all you PoM/Pyro Mages, Elemental Mastery Shaman, and “oops my Nightfall Shadowbolt crit” Warlocks, and any other class that is incompetent of using their aggro reducing abilities BEFORE you pull from the tank, this pet peeve is from you. 

Having a crappy tank is NO EXCUSE as to why you pulled aggro.  You can’t top the DPS charts if you’re dead, so watch your threat and use your abilities!  Feign, Invis, Vanish, Soul Shatter; no matter what your ability is, feel free to USE IT, and don’t go screaming, “I need a heal” either, as you’ll likely end up with your face on the floor anyways.  Believe me, you’ll just sound pathetic.

3

“I’m going to make a sandwich while I wait for a rez.”

Every wipe is not your personal Half-time.  If I’m running, so are you.

Just because I CAN rez your pathetic corpse, doesn’t mean that I’m obligated to do so, while you go yell at your kid.  I’m not responsible for your bad parenting.  If your kid can’t sit still through raid, either invest in some tranquilizers, a Wii, or a nanny.  It’s not my fault that it’s your weekend with the kids.  You should have thought about that when you put WoW before your wife.  If you were still married, you could yell at her to slap ’em around and start running back to your corpse like everyone else.

Bottom line:  If you die, you’re running because I’ll likely make up an excuse as to how you’re out of range from me and I wouldn’t be able to get to you without pulling the boss anyways.  So don’t waste my time, or the rest of the group’s time for that matter.

Fourth Reason I Have a Headache Tonight

“Breaking CC”

There is always a reason for crowd control.  It probably has something to do with it NOT running around killing the healers.

Every instance you enter there is an opportunity to crowd control certain mobs.  If you’re blessed with a group capable of these CC abilities, then there’s a good chance that we will utilize it. 

Hunters, please do not Multi-shot.  Mages, just because the mob is at 1%, doesn’t mean that Arcane Explosion, Blast Wave, Cone of Cold, or any of your other “I’m not thinking about my environment” spells are your best choice.  Rogues, tab targeting is extremely inefficient.  I’m not even going to talk about Pally tanks using Consecration right next to the sheep.

Tanks, if your DPS continually break CC because they’re too stupid to stop and you’re too stupid to get another group, then do your part and tank the mobs AWAY from the CC.  You know, we did just clear all the mobs up to this point.  We didn’t teleport right in the middle of a room where we can’t move.  Here’s an idea: drag the fight down the hallway we just came from a little bit.  I’m willing the bet there’s not many mobs that direction.  This will allow you to group with other stupid DPS somewhat successfully.

 If you are assigned to mob CC, then do your raid a favor and make that CC your top priority.  Use a mod to tell you when your CC breaks.  Use a macro to get it under control as soon as it breaks.  Put some distance between you and your CC’d mob so that by the time you react to it and can get off your cast, it doesn’t kill you or a healer.  Above all else, if for some reason your stupidity allowed you to get railed by your own personal objective this fight, do not, under any circumstances, yell over Ventrilo, “I NEED A HEAL!”

Conclusion

Overall, there are many things that can rub people the wrong way.  Whether you’re a healer, a raid leader, an officer, or a player that actually likes to play skillfully, everyone has pet peeves.  If you fall under one of the above categories, please rectify the situation immediately or you’re in danger of being that “one guy” that nobody likes to bring along on the raids or PUGs.

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~ by Birkin on March 4, 2008.

4 Responses to “Healer Pet Peeves”

  1. I liked the rant, unfortunately much of it is often true.

  2. haha I like it, a priest as firey about idiots as I am.

    /applaud

  3. Brilliant!

  4. I am so with you on this Birkin. That is every peeve i have as a healer.

    Here’s another of my pet peeves but it’s not a healer one. People who use their computer microphone to talk on vent

    The mess it makes of vent, the huge amount of band width it takes up, the way it slows down everybody’s computers etc

    I really hate it when people do this, especially if they talk a lot.

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